But, If You Co Sleep You Can’t Have Sex!!

I don’t know about you but I friggin’ love sleep. And it appears that our baby would only allow us to have sleep if he was nearby. (By nearby, I mean sticking his fingers up my nose and him being sprawled out over me.)

When I was pregnant my mother in law bought us a beautiful co sleeping crib, one of those things that attach to the bed. (I like to call them third wheeling booths!) So, there it was, our lovely new co sleeping crib, we were just so excited for our baby to get here and for him to sleep peacefully in his lovely bed.

HAHA, next joke!

He was born late at night and we didn’t go to sleep until early hours of the morning. We were in hospital as I had an emergency caesarean (but that’s another story!), my partner went home to get a few hours rest before coming in the next morning.

That night, Freddie slept on my chest, I had literally just given birth to him, no way was I going to put him down now after waiting nearly 9 months for him to get here.

The midwives were lovely and kept coming in to check on me just to make sure we were both okay. The first night we came home, we went to bed pretty early and as soon as his head hit the mattress of his lovely new bed he screamed. So that was that. On my chest he went and he stayed on one of our chests for the first 21 nights.

After that I discovered the beauty of breastfeeding whilst lying down. This was the start of good quality sleep! As soon as he stirred I popped my boob in his mouth and back to sleep we went.

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Freddie was 5 months old here. (Please ignore my partner’s armpit, I know it’s hard to!)

 

There’s an awful common misconception that bed sharing will ruin your relationship. Funnily enough, beds are made for sleeping in, and that’s what we do with ours!

Me and my partner have gone through some very rough points in our relationship since having Freddie, but we can safely say that co-sleeping isn’t the reason for that.

(Read about our experience with relationship counselling here)

Now Freddie is older, I feed him to sleep in the early evening, ninja roll out of bed and run out of the room as fast as I can!! Sometimes he will wake up for another feed before we retire to bed but most nights me and my partner get to enjoy quality time together. (Or we did up until the sleep regression entered our lives! Read my post about that here!)

Bed sharing isn’t for everyone, I totally get that. If your baby settles well in their moses basket, crib or cot then co sleeping may not be necessary for you, but for me it has saved my sanity and we had no other choice.

There is another common misconception that once you let your baby sleep in with you, YOU WILL BE DOOMED FOREVER. Now, I may be wrong, but im assuming by the time he’s 18 he won’t still be sleeping in our bed.

In the new year we are planning on buying a single bed for his bedroom. It will be a long and gentle process to get him into his own room but that’s cool with us, rushing him will just make it harder on everyone. I will start off by settling him in his room for naps during the day and then eventually he will start the night off in his own bed. If he wakes up during the night and toddles into our room then that’s fine too.

Basically, if you’re reading this and are contemplating bed sharing for your own sanity then do it. There are plenty of places for you and your partner to have the nookie and your baby certainly won’t be in your bed forever. Here is a link to help you make sure you’re bed sharing in the safest way possible.

If you’re reading this thinking ‘what the hell?’ then that’s fine. We love bed sharing and thanks for your concern but our sex life is fab.

 

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This Is What Bed Time With A Baby Looks Like

I think all mums have gone through this at some point, unless you’re one of those rare breeds who have baby who sleeps 12 hours a night every night without fail. (And if that’s you then… in the nicest possible way, I don’t want to know.)

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Until recently, Freddie would get tired around 6pm, so i’d take him into bed and feed him to sleep. Simple. He may wake up once before me and my partner go to bed but usually he would be soundo until 11pm ish.

That is until the sleep regression entered our lives and had to piss all over it.

Now it goes a little like this:

Baby: *rubs eyes and whines out of tiredness*

Me: Oh, you’re tired huh? Okay, lets go to bed.

Baby: Haha, next joke mother.

Me: *feeds him for about an hour before he falls asleep*

Me: *ninja rolls out of bed and runs out of the room*

Me: *huge sigh of relief, settles down on the sofa to watch Desperate Housewives* (Which may I add has taken me about 4 months to get to series 3 #mumlife)

Baby: IM AWAKE, I REPEAT IM AWAKE. GET BACK IN HERE AND GIVE ME SOME BOOB.

Me: Oh, he’s hungry again, no worries, I’ll just feed him for a bit and he will be fine.

Baby: *laughs hysterically in an evil manor.*

*2 hours later, I leave the bedroom with tears running down my face, a sore nose from being punched several times and a few scratches on my neck (I really need to trim his nails again, maybe tomorrow if I remember)*

Me: *collapses on the sofa and goes to finish the episode of Desperate Housewives that I’ve been trying to watch for about 4 days now.*

(If im lucky I get to finish this episode AND start another episode, yippee its like winning the lotto)

And in enters my partner, he finishes work quite late most nights so lets assume this is one of those nights. Our front door really needs oiling and as a result you have to slam it rather loudly for it to shut. So, *inserts loud slam*.

Partner: Honey, I’m home!!!

Me: *clenches teeth and waits for the inevitable wake up from the baby*

*silence, thank god, maybe he’s eventually settled into a nice deep milk coma* (Baby that is, not my partner!)

*Me and partner enjoy a nice cuddle on the sofa and talk about how our days have gone*

Baby: HOLD THAT THOUGHT, IM AWAKE AGAIN.

 

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Answering The Common Questions On Baby Led Weaning

Baby led weaning. Or as my dad calls it, ‘bacon, lettuce, womatoes’.

When I was pregnant I’d heard briefly about this BLW thing on several mum groups on Facebook. At first, I didn’t take any notice. I was going to ‘traditional wean’. Introduce baby rice at 6 months and gradually introduce puree along with it.

Well, Freddie was a couple months old when I saw BLW mentioned again on a group and I thought ‘right, lets see what the fuss is about.’ So, I read through articles, blog posts, people’s personal experiences and I thought it was so cool! And it just made complete sense to me. But I had the same concerns most people have at first.

Wont he choke?!

Nope. If your baby is 6 months (or thereabouts) then his gag reflex should be developed by then. Most babies gag, regardless of BLW or traditional weaning and this is very normal (and scary!). If your baby is coughing and making sounds then he is not choking. Obviously there are some precautions you should take such as cutting up grapes, olives and other small things…

How do I know if he’s getting enough?

Okay, I’m about to say something really absurd and shocking…

Trust your baby. *gasps of shock* If your baby is ready for solids then your baby will feed himself what he needs. Obviously that doesn’t take into account babies who may be developmentally behind but generally speaking your baby will know exactly what he needs and wants. Like I said, I too had the same concerns and admittedly it is hard to get your head around the idea. For years we have been in control of everything our babies do, including their food in take, so letting go and putting your trust into a baby who doesn’t know his arse from his elbow is hard but its so worth it!

Surely I can’t give him everything we eat?!

Well, I mean, maybe try to avoid KFC and chocolate milkshake for the first few years but assuming you have a fairly balanced and varied diet then yes your baby can eat everything you are eating apart from honey which should be avoided for the first year! (Something to do with bacteria…) There’s an incredibly old fashioned myth around that tells us we should only introduce things slowly and one at a time. Long story short, this is basically unnecessary and recent research suggests that unless there are known allergies there is no reason to restrict certain foods!

There are many things I love about BLW. (the mess isn’t one of them though!) And one of them is how easy it is to go out for a meal! We can just strap him into his chair, order him something from the menu and he can tuck in to his food whist we all eat as a family!

From day one Freddie has had a massive variety of food and he tries something new most days. Here are some pictures!

 

 

If you’re not entirely convinced, I don’t blame you, because at first glance the thought of a baby feeding themselves seems ridiculous. But it has so many amazing benefits and it’s just so easy, I would recommend it to anyone!

 

Thank you for reading this post, please stay tuned!

See you soon! 🙂

 

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Erm, hi?

God these things are awkward.

I decided roughly 37 minutes ago that I was going to start a blog, so here I am, writing my first blog post and I have no idea where to start! I figured that my life is crazy and interesting enough to write about, but clearly it isn’t!

SO, let me introduce myself and tell you a little more on my intentions for this blog.

I’m 20, I was 18 when we found out I was pregnant. As you can imagine we had some, lets say, interesting reactions… So, fast forward nearly 18 months and we have a beautiful bouncing 8 month old, a few debts, no money, our own place and a relationship that’s been through the wars and back, but I wouldn’t have it any other way. (Well, maybe a bit more money.)

When I found out I was pregnant, I knew straight away that I would breastfeed. In fact, at this point I assumed that all mums breastfed for at least the first week or so. I just thought it was the ‘norm’. There were a few things I had never even thought of before. Like, baby wearing. What the hell is that? Why on earth would you want a lump strapped to your chest? Well, it turns out that this babywearing malarkey was a blimmin’ life saver in the first few months.

Throughout my pregnancy I made sure to research as much as I could. I took this pregnancy thing pretty seriously you know. Some mums like to research about the best pram or bottles to buy, but all I was interested in was making sure we gave Freddie the best childhood we can. So, then I came across ‘attachment parenting’. The name in itself is pretty off putting and makes it sound like you are setting yourself up for a clingy 21 year old who still sleeps in your bed. BUT, after lots of researching and joining some amazing facebook groups, I loved everything about this ‘new’ type of parenting. I say new, but it isn’t very new at all. The ideologies behind this type of parenting is just following your instincts, and instincts have been around a lot longer than cry-it-out or weaning your child onto chicken curry at 3 months. I offloaded all of my thoughts onto my partner who thankfully was incredibly supportive and loved the idea of this type of parenting.

Here is my partner and Freddie at 4 months old enjoying skin to skin in the bath together. 11225237_10206505272806065_5603524013439316434_o

(Yes, that is a Zelda tattoo and a really sexy beard. And no, he is not available!)

 

SO, if you’ve got this far then well done and thank you for reading my spur of the moment ramblings. I have a feeling this could be the start of something interesting and I hope you enjoyed learning a little bit about our crazy life.

Next blog post will be our adventures of BLW!

 

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