You Must Always Be In A Good Mood Or Else You Are Naughty

 

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Us parents have some incredibly odd and unrealistic expectations of our children. One of them being ‘you must always be in a good mood’!

I see far too often mums on Facebook posting about the naughty step, the naughty corner, time out and other humiliating punishments. Most of these are consequences of the child expressing their bad mood. Of course, as parents it is our jobs to set firm boundaries and we deserve to be respected. But how on earth are our children going to respect us if we don’t respect them?

I have plenty of bad days and sometimes I can take out my bad moods on those around me. (If my partner is reading this, I love you, you’re the best) Us adults always have bad days, I mean, you can’t blame us, being an adult is hard, and we more often than not express our bad feelings in one way or another. Most of the time, expressing these feelings are healthy. As long as we are not harming ourselves or others around us then I think it’s perfectly fine to do so, and it should be the same for children. Whether that’s huffing and puffing around the house, generally being grumpy or not wanting to talk to anyone.

Yes, maybe children’s bad moods are spurred on due to something minor (in our eyes it’s minor anyway) such as not being able to have a certain toy or not being allowed to eat the whole bag of Harribo but to them this is massive and it’s important. They don’t understand the reasoning behind them not being allowed to do these things, that’s why it’s our job to gently tell them that ‘I’m sorry I can’t buy you the new toy as mummy doesn’t have enough money, however you have plenty of amazing toys here to play with, shall we go and have a look?’

It’s a vicious cycle really, you tell your child off for not sharing so they are then in a bad mood because they rightfully so don’t want to share their toy, so you then punish them further for being in a bad mood. I think this is incredibly hypocritical and we need to remember that our children look up to us as their role models.

 

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13 thoughts on “You Must Always Be In A Good Mood Or Else You Are Naughty

  1. We can’t always be in a good mood, that’s a given. Bad behaviour is something else entirely and the two shouldn’t be confused. We have a time out step, and when faced with a particularly defiant preschooler, it can help set boundaries. As long as we parent consistently and with love we shouldn’t need labels for it

    Liked by 1 person

  2. I agree that children have moods like everything but I do think there is bad behaviour too, like my perfectly happy child launching a building brick across the room randomly! 🙂 I think every child is different and needs treating accordingly. xx

    Liked by 1 person

    • But is that bad behaviour though or are they angry/upset/craving attention? Sometimes children cannot express how they are feeling in words and so that is the only way they can communicate. Obviously it is our job to show them that we do not express ourselves like that, however I wouldn’t call it ‘bad’ behaviour x

      Liked by 1 person

      • Yes, he wasn’t frustrated or anything. He walked over, picked it up, threw it and then smiled at me even though we were playing together. I feel like I know my son enough to know when he’s annoyed about something and when he’s behaving badly. X

        Liked by 1 person

      • I didn’t mean to sound a*sey, as a teacher I see plenty of bad behaviour. I agree with what you’re saying in principal however I believe that my son should know appropriate ways to behave and even if he was angry/upset/frustrated, getting violent isn’t the answer and he should be taught that. ☺️ xx

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