Ever heard of the phrase ‘happy mummy, happy baby’? Of course you have.
This phrase was originally created to help mommas who were suffering with post natal illnesses (or any mental health illnesses in fact), because its true; if mum is depressed or mentally ill then it is likely that the baby will pick up on these feelings; especially if the mental health issues are preventing mum from looking after her baby properly. After all, in the event of an air-plane crash you must have your own oxygen mask on before helping anyone else.
However, this phrase is so overused now. Mums take it and use it as a reasoning for every single parenting choice, in order to justify a choice they make that may not be in baby’s best interest. I am a huge advocate for happy mums, of course I am. I suffered with traumatic stress and post natal depression after my son was born so I KNOW how important it is for mums to be happy. And that’s why it frustrates me so much to see mums using this phrase to justify selfish decisions.
For example, the cry it out method.
Many mums genuinely believe this method is a rite of passage in motherhood, when their baby reaches a certain age they MUST leave them to cry in order to make them learn how to be ‘independent’. I’ve never met a mum who has enjoyed leaving her precious bundle to cry, however I have met plenty who deep down know that what they are doing is perhaps detrimental to their baby’s well being but do it anyway as they think that’s what they are meant to do and they use the phrase ‘happy mum happy baby’ in order to justify this. I just don’t understand, I’ve never met a mum who finds it easy to leave her baby to cry and I’m pretty sure baby’s don’t enjoy being left to cry either.
Of course, us mums are still people and we deserve to be happy, however sometimes doing what we believe is best for us isn’t best for our children and when we gave birth to our babies we made that vow to put their needs before our own. After all, if we don’t put them first, who will?!
So, my new favourite phrase is Happy Baby = Happy Mummy, because every mum I’ve ever met feeds from their baby’s happiness. Every mum I’ve ever come across is happy when their baby is happy.
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