5 Ways To Be Discreet Whilst Breastfeeding

We all know that breastfeeding is a shameful and immodest act. I fear that indiscreet breastfeeding will make men uncomfortable as it’s hard to ogle over boobs when there’s a baby attached. Those poor men.

I’ve written a list of ways to be discreet whilst breastfeeding so we can stop making other people feel uncomfortable. (Because obviously their comfort is more important than your babies.)

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1- Use some sort of cover. A breastfeeding apron is simply not good enough. I recommend buying one of those pop up tents. They’re easy enough to carry around with you and if your baby needs a feed you can just pitch it up in the middle of a shop and sit in there whilst you feed.

2- Carry a ‘warning’ sign around with you and before you sit down to feed your baby place it approximately 5 metres away from you so people have a chance to overt their eyes.

3- If a sign is simply not feasible as your pop up tent is taking up all of the room in your handbag then carry a roll of that bright yellow ‘warning’ tape around with you. That way you can wrap the tape around furniture and isolate yourself in the corner of the cafe or shop.

4- Sing really loudly. That way you will distract the attention from the small amount of skin exposed whilst feeding your child. The perks of this one is that some people may mistake you for a busker and give you money.

5- If the previous 4 tips fail then simply don’t leave the house until your baby no longer breast feeds. If you’re planning to breastfeed until natural term then you may be stuck in for a while so I recommend stocking up your cupboards and making the most of internet shopping.

 

Hopefully these tips will help you become more discreet whilst feeding your baby. After all, feeding your child in the most natural way is not something people should see.

 

Happy pop-up tent boobing!

 

If you enjoyed this article then you may enjoy reading 9 Ways To Create A Rod For Your Own Back!

 

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23 thoughts on “5 Ways To Be Discreet Whilst Breastfeeding

  1. Although this post made me smile it was a bit of a wry smile. As a country, we really should be passed having this conversation. Babies need to feed, breasts are made for that purpose. People who make mothers uncomfortable for doing the most natural thing in the world ought to be ashamed of themselves.

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Hahaha love the singing one, that did make me chuckle. I do think though, if a baby needs feeding the mother should be able to feed her baby anywhere without being judged. Breastfeeding is on of the most natural things in the world after all.

    Like

  3. Haha as always you never fail to make me laugh but on a serious note I think it is terrible that women are made to hide away their breasts as though they are not natural because less face it all these men and women pointing their fingers in disgust were once babies sucking at their own mothers breasts or bottle teats!

    Liked by 1 person

  4. I don’t have a child yet, and I know your post is humourous not serious, I totally agree with you. If you want to breastfeed, good luck to you, do it where and how you feel comfortable, if YOU WANT to cover yourself do so, but don’t feel you have to if you or baby doesn’t like it.

    Liked by 1 person

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