I Am Now A Breastfeeding Peer Supporter!

Yay!

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I did it!

After 10 fantastic weeks of training, I am now a breastfeeding peer supporter. This means that once my DBS checks are back I can volunteer on the post natal wards, NICU and children’s centres and help mums who are struggling to breastfeed or who just need some support or information.

I cannot tell you how excited I am about this amazing opportunity and I feel so privileged knowing that I will be helping support women to continue to breastfeed and helping baby’s get their yummy milk.

I know it won’t all be fun and games, especially on the NICU ward. But I am up for the challenge and I am so passionate about breastfeeding after the hardships me and Freddie have gone through on our breastfeeding journey.

I believe every woman should be given the correct information to help her make an informed choice. If she still wants to formula feed then that’s fine but at least she is informed. Unfortunately, not many women are informed about infant feeding.

Being a breastfeeding peer supporter isn’t about judging mums who don’t breastfeed, it’s about helping the mums who DO want to breastfeed and about giving mums information so they can make an informed decision. There may be times where I help a mum wean her baby off the breast as she doesn’t want to breastfeed anymore and I will support her and help her. But I will also tell her of the risks involved because she deserves to know.

I’m so excited to start, not only do I get to help mum and baby’s but I also get to see super squishy, newborn goodness!

 

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Why Men Need Feminism Too

Why Men Need Feminism Too.pngSo, I was scrolling through Facebook last night as you do, when I saw a post from another mum on a mummy group.

She was ranting about her husband, fair enough, he sounds like a lazy ass and we all need to rant sometimes. But the comments astounded me and left me feeling sick. She was moaning about how her husband had a day off for the first time in ages and refused to go to the shop to buy her little boy some new trainers so she could take him to the park.

So, the comments.

‘Go beat him senseless with the trainers that don’t fit any more and say if he got them then you’d have no need to do this lol’. 

Yeah because domestic violence is fucking hilarious.

‘Headbutt him’

It’s funny because if your husband headbutted you then you could get a restraining order put against him and he would get charged with assault.

We don’t encourage that type of violence .. Use a phone book, it leaves no marks and doesn’t hurt you a bit’

Why is it okay for women to joke about things like this or threaten violent behaviour but if I posted on a group saying that my partner threatened to beat me with a shoe and headbutt me they would tell me to ring the police?

Violence is never okay. It is NEVER okay to lay a finger on another person’s body without their consent unless you are defending yourself. It is NEVER okay to smack a baby, to smack a child or to smack an adult.

Violent behaviour is always abuse, no matter how you sugar coat it or joke about it. It is NEVER funny.

This is why men need feminism too. Because it’s fine for a woman to joke about harming her partner but it’s abuse when a man does it.

1 in 4 women get abused in their lifetime and 1 in 6 men get abused in their lifetime. Abuse is not a joke.

 

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There’s No Such Thing As ‘Tough Love’

Heather Wolf — ‘There is no such thing as tough love. Love is kind, love is compassionate, love is tender.”

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When it comes to babies, there is no such thing as ‘tough love’.

The closest thing to ‘tough love‘ I can think of is taking control of all finances whilst your partner who is a gambling addict gets help with his addiction.

When babies are in the mix there is either responding to your babies cues or there isn’t. I hate the phrase ‘tough love’ when referring to babies as if ignoring a babies cries is in their best interest?!

Babies have no idea how to manipulate their parents, as clever as babies are they aren’t THAT clever. Sometimes they cry for attention, and that’s okay. Needing attention is as much of a legitimate need as needing a drink.

And there is TONS of research proving that ignoring your children’s cries CAN be detrimental to their health. I don’t want to hear that you left your darling Peter to cry and he turned out fine. My grandad smoked 30 cigarettes a day for most of his life and he lived until 88. Doesn’t take away the fact that thousands of people die from smoking every single day.

Older children however, I have no idea as I haven’t reached that milestone yet, but if you ever hear me say that I’m leaving my 5 year old to cry himself to sleep then I give you permission to drop-kick me in the face.

‘But the more you respond to them the more they will cry for attention’ I hear you say. Well yeah. Obviously. Is it really such an awful thing that a baby trusts their parents to answer their cries? If you ignore your babies cries then they will eventually stop crying. It doesn’t mean they no longer need cuddling or attention, it just means they know there’s no point in crying as no one is going to come.

So yes, the cry-it-out method does work, I 100% agree with you on that, it doesn’t mean its ethical, loving or right though.

Before you get your knickers in a twist, I wholeheartedly believe that there is a massive difference between chucking your baby in a cot at 7pm and ignoring them all night because YOU think they should be asleep and putting your baby in a safe place for 2 minutes whilst you calm down, cry, get your shit together or call someone over to help you on a bad day.

Humans crave attention, we all like to feel loved and wanted. When we are babies, toddlers, children and adults. It’s normal.

 

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