I wish I was one of those mums who can deal with spending every minute of every day with my child. Don’t get me wrong, I LOVE spending time with Freddie when he’s not being an arse. But I can safely say that by the end of my weekend off work i am ready to run away with nothing but clothes on my back shouting ‘freedom!!!!!’
Sometimes I don’t even know how I managed before I worked when I never spent any time away from freddie. I thought I would be a bad mum if I left him with granny and pops for a few hours. But looking back now I can see that I didn’t cope very well at all and I am a much better mum now that I’ve started listening to my feelings the same way I listen to freddies.
I was always angry, teary and touched out and I would get frustrated with him so easily. If I ever have another kid I know not to make that mistake. Fuck you society and all your standards of what being a good mum is. You know what, if I need to have a night off once in a.while in order to charge my batteries and be a better mum then that’s what I shall do and you can go fuck yourself if you don’t like it.
The truth is; adults, kids and babies are all different. We as a society need to stop expecting all mums to fit into this one size fits all because it’s never gonna happen!
Just because fanny Anne down the road spends every minute of every day with her 6 children and hasnt had a mental breakdown yet doesnt mean im a bad mum for losing my rag and needing time out. Because there are other times I’m splashing in muddy puddles with him, blowing bubbles, giving him kisses, making him healthy organic food for tea (after having McDonald’s for lunch ofcourse) and he knows I love him. He knows this because I tell him a million times a day, he knows this because I work my ass off for him and he knows this because I’m the only parent he’s got who hasn’t given up on him.
We give kids the opportunity of spending time away from the family home with their friends for sleepovers or even just playing in their bedroom on their own so why don’t we give ourself that opportunity without beating ourselves up? (I don’t mean playing in your bedroom by yourself… unless that’s what you want ofcourse!)
I take my hat off to the mums who don’t need time out to themselves. You are amazing and I don’t know how you do it. But I also take my hat off to the mums who admit they’re not perfect and they need time out every now and again.
And before I get some negative Nancy comment on this; I’m not justifying leaving your newborn baby who has barely left your vag so you can go and get pissed up down your local pub. I 100% advocate spending as much time in the 4th trimester with your baby as possible as it’s such a crucial time to bond. I 100% advocate spending as much time with your kid no matter what age as possible but sometimes it is not possible when you are going to throw them head first out your fucking window.
To all the touched out mums out there, do whatever you need to do to be the best mum you can be to your kids. They will thank you for it.
Freddie And I 