Toddler’s First Cinema Trip (ad)

The fantasy: it's going to be lovely, peaceful and mesmerising & at worst he may fall asleep which will just mean I can watch the film in peace.... The reality: well fuck that, I'm never doing that again unless it involves a glass of wine, VIP seats and an 18 rated movie. When Vue cinema …

The Truth Behind Chickenpox

I heard that each individual chicken pox that is on your child represents every sin you've ever committed as a parent. For example the time you gave your 1000% baby led weaned 7 month old an Ella's kitchen pouch. (This by the way means that your child is no longer baby led weaned whatsoever as …

The Realities Of Parenting

Before I had Freddie I had this idea of what parenting was going to be like. It was going to be a calm, zen, natural and peaceful experience for all involved! Yeah I see my parents at the back there laughing at me because they know it didn't exactly go that way from the get …

The Misfortunes of Freddie

It all started on a Tuesday. Freddie doesn't have nursery on a Tuesday. Mummy doesn't like Tuesdays. Mummy asked Freddie what he would like for breakfast. The options included toast with marmite or cereal or scrambled eggs. SWEETIES demanded Freddie. No darling it's 5:45 in the morning you are not having sweeties. Freddie's self harming …